We have finally bid goodbye to the 2009 holiday season although our tree still stands tall (with all the glass balls near the bottom removed compliments of Baby Sister) and despite the fact that ours is the only house on the block with lights still up and on. That is tomorrow's project. As is customary, J had proclaimed his New Year's resolution - to train for and complete a half triathalon - even before 2009 drew to a close. As for me, I don't make resolutions, I'm not keen on setting myself up for failure. There are so many things that I could resolve to do. Such as to keep the chair, that is on any given day buried under at least two loads of clean laundry, free of towels, onesies, tiny mismatched socks, Tinkerbell underwear and crumpled Bounce sheets so that it can be used as a seat. Or, I could be resolute in making sure that my kitchen is neat and tidy every night before going to bed so that I am not welcomed by a sinkful of dirty dishes in the morning. What about sweeping the floor twice daily (or as needed) so that Baby Sister is not tempted to graze on bits of this and that between meals. I could grant J's wish and do some serious organizing in the fourth bedroom that we use as our home office, or more aptly, as my dumping grounds for unread issues of architectural magazines, stacks of scrapbook paper, innumerable spools of ribbon, embellishments and various other crafting tools and supplies. But were I to keep up with even one of these on a daily basis it would mean less time for reading to the Girl, snuggling with Baby Sister, sharing a pot of tea in the Rose Petal Cottage, dancing with the Girl to Hannah Montana in our underwear (just kidding about the underwear part despite what the Girl might claim), creating birds out of Play-doh, making banana bread with my favorite little baker, singing lullabies, crafting snowflakes out of toilet paper tubes and pipe cleaners and countless other activities. That being said, I do wish to improve upon my patience level with the Girl and the way in which I approach discipline with her. So many days I find myself at wits end with her 4-year old back-talk and sassy behavior. I came across this Bible verse the other day, The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. - Psalm 145:8 The last part of the verse really resonated with me. In addition, I've been reading 'Don't Make Me Count to Three!' a book that my Mom gave me over the holidays. Except in my case it would be titled, 'Don't Make Me Count to Five!' or to twenty on the really bad days when I'm so done dealing with the bad behavior that I wishfully think that if I just count high enough the problem will ultimately take care of itself. Ha! If only. The book's author, Ginger Plowman, talks about heart-oriented discipline and how we should seek to understand what is in our children's hearts to help them recognize and evaluate their motives rather than just addressing and giving answers for the outward behavior that is manifested. In the chapter I just finished she wrote about an incident in which she'd been dealing with the same behavior problem all day from her son, how it was a real struggle and she was weary from training over and over again to try and correct the issue. Exactly how I feel at the end of many days, days when I've given up because I feel as though try as I might what I've been doing has not made a bit of difference and then at the end of the chapter she gave this glimmer of hope....we can be encouraged with Galatians 6:9, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." So, if I were to make a New Year resolution, which as mentioned previously I don't, it would be to find effective, loving ways of disciplining the Girl (and eventually, but hopefully not too soon, Baby Sister), treating her with respect even when I am about to lose my cool and being slow to anger and rich in love. That is what I will be "working" on this year. That and maybe posting here every single day.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Resolutions
We have finally bid goodbye to the 2009 holiday season although our tree still stands tall (with all the glass balls near the bottom removed compliments of Baby Sister) and despite the fact that ours is the only house on the block with lights still up and on. That is tomorrow's project. As is customary, J had proclaimed his New Year's resolution - to train for and complete a half triathalon - even before 2009 drew to a close. As for me, I don't make resolutions, I'm not keen on setting myself up for failure. There are so many things that I could resolve to do. Such as to keep the chair, that is on any given day buried under at least two loads of clean laundry, free of towels, onesies, tiny mismatched socks, Tinkerbell underwear and crumpled Bounce sheets so that it can be used as a seat. Or, I could be resolute in making sure that my kitchen is neat and tidy every night before going to bed so that I am not welcomed by a sinkful of dirty dishes in the morning. What about sweeping the floor twice daily (or as needed) so that Baby Sister is not tempted to graze on bits of this and that between meals. I could grant J's wish and do some serious organizing in the fourth bedroom that we use as our home office, or more aptly, as my dumping grounds for unread issues of architectural magazines, stacks of scrapbook paper, innumerable spools of ribbon, embellishments and various other crafting tools and supplies. But were I to keep up with even one of these on a daily basis it would mean less time for reading to the Girl, snuggling with Baby Sister, sharing a pot of tea in the Rose Petal Cottage, dancing with the Girl to Hannah Montana in our underwear (just kidding about the underwear part despite what the Girl might claim), creating birds out of Play-doh, making banana bread with my favorite little baker, singing lullabies, crafting snowflakes out of toilet paper tubes and pipe cleaners and countless other activities. That being said, I do wish to improve upon my patience level with the Girl and the way in which I approach discipline with her. So many days I find myself at wits end with her 4-year old back-talk and sassy behavior. I came across this Bible verse the other day, The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. - Psalm 145:8 The last part of the verse really resonated with me. In addition, I've been reading 'Don't Make Me Count to Three!' a book that my Mom gave me over the holidays. Except in my case it would be titled, 'Don't Make Me Count to Five!' or to twenty on the really bad days when I'm so done dealing with the bad behavior that I wishfully think that if I just count high enough the problem will ultimately take care of itself. Ha! If only. The book's author, Ginger Plowman, talks about heart-oriented discipline and how we should seek to understand what is in our children's hearts to help them recognize and evaluate their motives rather than just addressing and giving answers for the outward behavior that is manifested. In the chapter I just finished she wrote about an incident in which she'd been dealing with the same behavior problem all day from her son, how it was a real struggle and she was weary from training over and over again to try and correct the issue. Exactly how I feel at the end of many days, days when I've given up because I feel as though try as I might what I've been doing has not made a bit of difference and then at the end of the chapter she gave this glimmer of hope....we can be encouraged with Galatians 6:9, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." So, if I were to make a New Year resolution, which as mentioned previously I don't, it would be to find effective, loving ways of disciplining the Girl (and eventually, but hopefully not too soon, Baby Sister), treating her with respect even when I am about to lose my cool and being slow to anger and rich in love. That is what I will be "working" on this year. That and maybe posting here every single day.
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2 comments:
In my quest for well-behaved children and my sanity, I bought Connection Parenting (a book recommended by a child and family educator at Everett Community College). I love it. If you need more reading and guidance, perhaps we can swap :)
I miss you so much. I owe you a call and an email and I am so bad about finding the time. I love your blog and if I made a new years resolution it would be to pick up my blogging and celebrate the awesomeness of the everyday things so I can go back and remember them, much like you do. I also LOVE how you keep it real....life is so much fun, but there are always those little bumps.
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