Holy Cr@p!!

Both Girls got well-child check-ups on Wednesday afternoon. Here they are flaunting their band-aid festooned arms after enduring a battery of vaccinations. Three for Baby Sister and five, yes FIVE, for the Girl. Of course these beautiful smiles were no where to be seen in the doctor's office. I didn't even tell the Girl about the check-up until lunchtime the day of because I ultimately knew what her reaction would be. "Do I have to get shots?" Were the first words that spilled out of her mouth. Much to my surprise she didn't put up a fight leaving the house but as we were nearing the doctor's office I heard a sniffle from the back and looked in the rearview mirror just in time to see a huge crocodile tear rolling down the Girl's cheek. It was heartbreaking. We arrived at the doctor's office and thankfully were called back almost immediately. In addition to the typical height/weight measurements the Girl's check-up involved numerous other activities. The nurse asked her what her full name was to which the Girl ducked her head and hid behind the hair that fell across her face. Next she was asked to draw a picture of herself on a piece of paper. After much encouragement from the nurse and a gentle reminder from me that there would be no surprise without full cooperation (yes, I believe in bribery every now and then), she drew the cutest darn picture of herself complete with spiky hair - definitely her father's daughter. Next she was asked to count and again she dropped her head and wouldn't utter a peep. On to the hearing test. The nurse let her listen to what the beep would sound like before placing the headphones on her. She told the Girl to say, "Beep" or raise her hand whenever she heard the beep. The headphones went on and the Girl's eyes glazed over. The nurse started the test and when the Girl didn't respond she repeatedly asked, "Did you hear a beep." Of course the Girl, in her absolute stubborness, just kept on staring straight ahead as if she hadn't heard the nurse. This apparently rattled the nurse as she asked me if I thought the Girl had a hearing problem. Hearing problem, no. Listening problem, yes. After the brilliant success of the hearing test the nurse didn't even bother with the eye chart that she had brought in. After the nurse exited, our doctor, whom we (and when I say "we" of course I mean "I") adore (have I mentioned that before?!) came in and went through the usual check-up routine with both girls. After having answered a handful of questions I had regarding the H1N1 flu vaccine she dropped the bombshell that the Girl was due for 5 vaccinations. What?! I figured that she would have to get two or three, but five?! The doctor said that we could forego a couple of them and then vaccinate her next summer before kindergarten but I figured we might as well get them over with now and save her the anxiety next year. This entire portion of our conversation was done via mouthing and a certain amount of cryptic code as neither of us wanted to set the Girl off any earlier than absolutely necessary. Once the doctor left the room and as we were waiting for the nurses to return with the dreaded shots, the Girl asked, "Do I have to get a shot?" To which I replied, "Yes. But you aren't getting just one, you're getting five." As I grimaced and braced myself for the inevitable, ensuing screaming and protests, I was shocked and amazed to hear the Girl blurt, "Holy crap!" followed by genuine laughter. Indeed. Crap is a four-letter word in our household but on this day it was a totally appropriate exclamation warranted by the prospect of five shots. Unfortunately the laughter did not last and when the time came it took two nurses to help me wrangle the girl out of her shirt (the Girl has an affinity for tank tops lately, especially as it is now too cold to wear them, but wouldn't you know that on this day she chose to wear a long-sleeved shirt) and I felt sorry for all the other children (and parents) waiting for shots who undoubtedly heard the screams and cries ringing through the entire office.

As for their stats:

The Girl weighed in at 38 1/2 pounds and measured 40 7/8 inches tall, which placed her in the 75th percentile for both categories.

Baby Sister is still a Pipsqueak at 18 pounds 6 ounces (10th percentile). She is 28 5/8 inches tall (35 percentile) and her head circumference is a whopping 18 1/2 inches (92 percentile). Gotta love those big noggins!!