Last night as I was lying in bed I was overcome by a flood of emotion - feelings of sadness and guilt - as I realized that in a matter of just six weeks, the Girl will no longer be our only child. For the past 1120 days she has had sole ownership over our undivided attention and has been the whole of our hearts. From the moment we first laid eyes on her she became the reason for our existence. Now she will no longer be able to lay claim to that coveted advantage of the first-born.
Not to say that I'm not whole-heartedly looking forward to meeting this new life that has been growing inside of me because I definitely am. I'm just worrying about what it means for the Girl and how she'll react to having to share our affections. I never intended for her to be an only child, at least not for more than a few years and I could never imagine her growing up without siblings.
In the same vein, I feel like the Baby will be cheated as she will never experience what it is like to be the only child and to have all of our attention and affection focused only on her. Sigh. Oh well, I never had that opportunity either and I'm assuming that most people would agree that I turned out to be a decent and kind individual.
That being said, I'm sure that the root of all my fear and worry stems from hormones, in fact I know it does as I cried watching 'Deal or No Deal' when last night's contestant became the first to win a million dollars. Seriously, tears streaming down my face.
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